What Are You Afraid of?
by MissSherlockHieiHolmes
Summary: This is an Adam Lambert fic based on a roleplay I did with a friend of mine. It's 19,000 words and took me five days and I'm really proud of it. However I didn't proof read it, so please ignore any typos


**What Are You Afraid Of?**

To say that Adam's call surprised me… Well that wouldn't exactly be a lie, but more of an understatement. Since our breakup after Idol, our relationship was rather strained. Unlike most exes who hated each other after a particularly bad breakup or claimed the ever so popular "I'd still love to be friends" façade, Adam and I did try to stay friends. We loved each other and I couldn't be sure about his feelings, but just because we broke up didn't mean that I stopped loving him.

Truthfully, our relationship came to an end for multiple reasons, mostly because the sudden fame was straining the bond we formed when Adam was, for lack of a better phrase, a nobody. Not to make Adam sound like a bad guy, because he isn't, but his sudden burst into stardom did give him quite a large ego. All of the adoration, the ridicule, the love, the hate, the clothes, the glitter, it all just went to his head. I can't entirely say that I blamed him. He'd finally achieved his life long goal and I was so proud of him. His fame was never an excuse to turn into a douchebag though.

In all fairness to him, eventually his ego did deflate. He never quite returned back to the man that I was in love with, but everyone changes. Unfortunately it took a pretty hard breakup for him to start to come back to planet Earth. Adam hadn't, exactly, treated me well once he was famous and I won't go into all of the details because I don't want to seem like I'm bashing him, but every time I tried to tell him how I felt about our relationship… Well he kind of just ignored it and after months of being treated like an afterthought, like I wasn't good enough for his new life, after being completely ignored, I just gave up.

I'm not proud of that, to say the least.

After our breakup, we didn't speak for a while. We were both rather angry (again, I don't want to go into too much detail because, to be up front, it's really not anyone's business) and we needed time to just be away from one another, cool off, you know? I always expected Adam to realize how he'd been acting, that he _did _let the fame go to his head and that he'd been treating me like I didn't matter. For a long while, even after he left for his Glam Nation tour, I expected him to call me up, apologize and tell me that he loved me.

Needless to say, since he now had a gorgeous model for a boyfriend, that didn't happen.

Not to say that we didn't talk, because we did. Adam would call when he was, what I always thought to be, lonely. He sounded depressed when he would say "hey Drake" and we would talk for a while. He would tell me about the tour and how fun it was but how much he missed home and I would tell him about my work, my art and my partnership with David Bromstad. Every single time we spoke, he would start to say something towards the end of the conversation that started with a "Drake, I really—" and then he would choke up. Don't think I'm conceited, but I knew that he was trying to work out an apology, maybe even try to get me back, but he didn't want to admit that he fucked up royally. If I were in his position, I would have felt the same way and that's why I never pushed him when he stopped. I wanted him to come around on his own and be ready to tell me that he loved me.

I never took into consideration that he might meet someone else because he didn't seem interested in dating anyone else. He always told me that he missed me; he just couldn't choke out an "I was wrong, I want you back". Eventually he called and didn't choke over an apology. Apologizing was the furthest thing from his mind because he met a guy named Sauli and he was excited about it but it wasn't serious. I made the mistake of deciding to tell him that I was happy for him instead of admitting I still loved him. Would that have made a difference? Maybe. I probably wouldn't get the chance to ever know.

So back to my original statement, I was overly shocked when Adam called me. Once he and Sauli started to grow serious, we didn't talk all that much. I guess I couldn't really blame him. If I were in his shoes, I wouldn't want to upset a new boyfriend by paying attention to an old one, but that didn't make it any less painful.

Now Adam was on his second tour, for his Trespassing album, and I didn't really expect him to hear from him any time in the near, maybe even distant, future, but he called me up about a week ago and invited me to his New Orleans show.

"_I called your condo to invite you to my LA show and David answered, said you were in New Orleans for a while to catch up on some paintings," he had said to me and I could practically hear him grinning through the phone. "I'll be in New Orleans for several days next week and I'd love for you to come to the show. I miss you and all…"_

That shocked me, actually. The few times we spoke after he met Sauli, he never said "I miss you", I figured because he found a gorgeous replacement for me. Not that I had a problem with Sauli, he seemed perfectly nice, but it was hard to have a good feeling about your ex-boyfriend's new boyfriend.

I very strongly considered telling Adam I couldn't come, make some sort of bull shit excuse to get out of it because it would be so painful to see him and his new boyfriend, but I couldn't bring myself to turn him down simply because he admitted he missed me. Frankly, I missed him too. So even if I had to endure meeting Sauli and putting on a pretty smile, I would do it because I still cared… By whatever higher power there was, I wished I could just not care anymore. Right, like that was going to happen.

Adam treated me rather well, though. He gave me a front row seat for the show and told me to come back stage to see him and meet the band after the show was over. I suppose you could say I went out of my way to look good. Adam wasn't the only person who had gone through some pretty serious appearance changes. My hair was freshly dyed a deep red color (David, my dork—I mean best friend—convinced me on the color) and it was long enough to reach my back. I usually kept it in a lopsided ponytail or braided with it hanging over my left shoulder. No one would let me cut it, so that was the most manageable way to keep it without having it become cumbersome to take care of. I also had a brand new tan (natural of course, don't lump me in with those other LA bimbos) and a new tattoo that took up the majority of my back. David and I went to get tattoos together and it was a sort of elegant tribal design done in black and gold ink.

For the concert, my hair was braided to the left side, with enough let loose to hang around and frame my face. I was freshly shaved (and by shaved, I mean no hair anywhere but on the top of my head) and I dressed in a dark pair of denim shorts that ended around my mid thigh. My top was rather unique, a shear red top that left most of my shoulders bare. The sleeves were loose and ended right at my elbows. The fabric was a crimson color with a gold feather design gracing it but the point of the shirt was that if you looked at me for more than just a glance, you could see straight through it.

Not the most modest or appropriate attire but honestly, look at some of the things Adam has performed in.

So I got to the concert a bit early but not too early. I didn't want to be the first person there, so I waited until his most obsessive fans were in the building before I parked my new convertible and ventured inside. I caught a few boys and a lot of girls turn their heads in my direction with a sort of awe struck look that I wasn't exactly used to. It was a little unsettling and I really had no idea how Adam could live with it all of the time.

The concert, itself, was wonderful. Just because Adam and I hadn't really been talking much, I bought his new album and I really enjoyed (not as much as For Your Entertainment because a lot of the was dedicated to me, of course) but it was hard to deny that Adam could saaaaang and he always got so into his performances. His voice was wonderful, as always and the dancing was really fun to watch, but I found myself watching Tommy, Adam's pink haired guitar player. In our previous meetings, I had to admit that I really didn't like the former-blond. Adam kissed him during his AMA performance while we were still dating and then continued to do so. Now I realized how stupid it was for me to think that he was a threat, but I was so scared of having someone better take Adam away from me… Now all I could see was how gorgeous he was because I had no reason to dislike him.

The worst parts about the concert were Adam's fan girls. Dear God did the girl who was sitting next to me have a pair of lungs on her. I could barely hear Adam over her flailing but teenage girls seemed to get overly excited about things like that. She probably would have died if Adam waved at her or blew her a kiss… And once the concert and the encores ended, I had no idea how to get back stage. Well, I knew how to get back stage, but how was I suppose to get through the mosh of people that were shoving me around like a limp noodle?

Pushing my way towards the door that led back stage was a long and drawn out process with a lot of "hey, watch where you're going!" and more colorful versions of the same profanities. When I was a teenager, I was afraid to swear and now nine year olds were saying, "fuck" every other sentence.

After a few moments of trying and failing to make progress, a hand grabbed my wrist and my first instinct was to pull away, but a beautiful, smiling blond came up to my side. He was shorter than I, but anyone could see just how similar we looked… "You're Drake, right?" he asked, letting go of my wrist in the process. Ushers who worked at the concert hall were finally starting to escort people out so no crazy fans ran over to Adam and tear his clothes off to coddle or something.

"Yes and you must be Sauli, nice to meet you," I said, returning his smile with one of my own. We shook hands, as is the polite thing to do when you first meet someone but he seemed rather shy for a model. Perhaps he was just as nervous to meet me as I was about meeting him. "Um, do you think you could show me back stage? I'm having a hard time maneuvering through Adam's fans."

"Trust me, it's hard for me too," he said but together we were able to make our way back stage. Most of our success, of course, was because of the ushers. Bless those people brave enough to face an army of fans.

Back stage, the band and the dancers were all standing around, toweling sweat from their faces and hair, and talking about the show and the crowd while complimenting and congratulating one another. Sauli glanced around for a moment before smiling and throwing himself into Adam's arms, kissing him like the lovers they very clearly were. It was hard to ignore the pang of jealousy that rang through my gut, but I managed it.

"Hey baby," Adam said once their brief but pretty passionate kiss was broken. Adam was still in his stage clothes, gorgeous as ever even while covered in sweat and he tucked one arm around Sauli's waist, holding the blond tight against his body with an almost protective aura about him. "Whose your friend?" he asked, glancing in my direction.

Okay… I looked different but this man fucked me for a couple of years. Was he serious? "Adam," I said, clearing my throat a little. Realization seemed to dawn on him and his eyes widened while he, basically, sized me up.

"Drake…?" he asked, letting go of Sauli. If I wasn't mistaken, a bit of jealousy flared in the boy's gorgeous blue eyes, but he was actually dating Adam so he could deal with it.

"So glad to know that you've forgotten all about me, pop star," I teased although it hit a bit too close to home for me to really find humor in my own joke. Before I could even begin to protest or accept Adam's advance, he wrapped his arms around me, hugging me with an almost crushing grip against his larger frame.

"Haven't forgotten, but geez, you look amazing!" he said while he pulled me to him.

"Adam, cut it out, you're all sweaty!" How could I help but laugh? He laughed too, just like he used too. It was still adorable and he pulled back a bit but kept his hands on my upper arms, holding me at arms length.

"My god, look at you…" he said again, giving me a good once over and then another.

"Bit of hair dye really throw you off that much?" I asked, smirking a bit and he just laughed again.

"A bit of hair dye I could handle but it's a bit of everything! New hair color, long and braided hair, lots of sunshine and some really stylish clothes… I didn't even recognize you aside from the voice and your eyes of course. I seem to remember a lot of stubble and now your skin is baby smooth. God, so jealous…" he rambled, grinning like an idiot. Yup… This was definitely Adam, no if ands or buts about that. "How have you been? You look great, so I'm hoping that life has been treating you well?"

"I've been really good, yeah… Um David moved his show Color Splash to Los Angeles and asked me to cohost it with him. On top of the show, we have art commissions and interior designs lined up for ages. That's why I'm here in New Orleans. LA was just getting so cumbersome, I came back here for a few weeks to catch up on some painting," I explained but I knew what Adam really wanted to hear. Did I have a boyfriend? And if so, was it David? David was a source of many fights. Adam was jealous of him like I was jealous of Tommy but I never made out with David. "Not seeing anyone though. I was seeing a guy for a few months but he was really insecure, always asking if he was better than you and if I missed you. Needless to say, that didn't work out. I can't sleep with a man who has a pussy."

I suppose that wasn't the answer Adam had expected. Maybe he wanted to know I was with David so he could feel less guilty about the way he treated me or that, at the very least, he could feel more at ease about moving on if he knew that I did. "Well I'm glad that most things are going so well for you, I feel like we haven't talked in forever!" Adam said, managing to keep his happy and airy vibe. I bit my lip, deciding that telling him how long it had been since we spoke last would be a horrible idea. "I'm sorry about your ex though. You deserve a guy who knows what a prize he has when he has you and if that guy is too jealous, well… Fuck him."

"Thanks, Adam," I muttered bashfully. "Dating's… Yeah, it isn't too easy. Normal guys are threatened by my former relationship and my business partner but celebrities don't think I'm good enough, so… I'm figuring it out," I explained, glancing around just to keep from having to look at Adam. Somehow I managed to lock eyes with Tommy, who seemed to be… staring at me? I smiled at him a little and he smiled back before turning away completely.

"You'll find a great guy, I'm sure about that Drake. Any guy would be stupid not to take you, just look at how gorgeous you are," Adam said and Sauli stepped forward at that. I sort of expected him to tell me off or pull Adam away but he caught me by total surprise.

"He's right, Drake, I work with models that are less attractive than you and any guy would be lucky to have you," he said, smiling at me. Again, I had to bite my tongue. Saying something about Adam giving me up would have been a mistake. "Now, Adam, I know you're excited to catch up and everything but we're here for days and you are covered in sweat and need to get cleaned up. Drake's not going anywhere."

"Yeah, Adam, go get your skanky ass cleaned up and stop hogging all the boy's attention. You're not that special or anything," Tommy teased, coming up to Adam with a bit of a shit-eating grin on his face. Adam was blushing… Fucking Hell.

"Yeah, yeah, all right," Adam said, kissing my cheek before walking off to get cleaned up. Not that I would have said anything, but he smelled a bit ripe…

Just standing there was awkward but I wasn't alone for more than a few seconds, because Tommy came right over to me once Adam strolled away, still looking rather embarrassed. "Hey," he said, flipping his hair out of his face so I could see both of his gorgeous chocolate eyes. He flipped his hair a lot on stage, which I could only describe as flirtatious hair flipping, but it was just so attractive…

"Oh, hey, Tommy," I said, smiling at him. Now that I didn't view him as competition for Adam's love, I was rather enchanted by him. Obviously, since I was watching him throughout the show instead of Adam. "Really great show tonight," I added. "Your playing was great and I absolutely loved your flirtatious hair flipping. Very cute, very sexy."

"Flirtatious hair flipping? Is that what we're calling it these days?" Tommy asked with an arch in his brow.

"Yes, cause that's exactly what it was. Flirtatious hair flipping. I know because I've become quite a master at it," I retorted with a bit of a smirk, flipping the loose hair around my face like Tommy had on stage. "Plus, Adam used to do it all the time back when he had his emo-ish hair cut and he was really bad at it. You're rather good though." Yes, I was very shamelessly flirting with this boy but I couldn't help myself; I flirted with cute guys. Tommy should be used to it, Adam was around him all the time, after all.

"He is bad at it, isn't he?" he asked with a laugh and he just kept smiling. Man, these people never stopped smiling did they? Well, they had a million adoring fans and shit, so they did had a lot of reasons to smile. After a bit of a laugh between us, we stepped off to the side so we were right in the middle of every single person walking around. It wasn't private really, but it was better than being the center of attention. "So how have you been, Drake? I mean… Of course Adam would say you look good but really… You do look amazing." Was it just me or did it sound like he was flirting…? No, of course it was just me, Adam swore up and down that Tommy was straight.

"Well, to be honest, I wish I had a boyfriend, but aside from that I've never really been better. My career is shining, I feel good about myself and it's just… It's a really amazing feeling," I admitted and I was sure that my smile made me look like a goofy kid who exclaimed he was going to marry a beautiful prince and live in a sugar castle someday. "How have you been?" Since I arrived, everything had been focused on me and I didn't particularly like that so I wanted to switch focus, even if it only lasted for a minute or so.

"I'm kind of in the same boat, actually. I mean, my job is great and I'm having a blast but it'd be nice to have someone, you know?" he replied in a serious yet still having fun attitude.

"I do, yes," I agreed, staring at his mouth for a moment. "So…" Back to my flirting. "Not to sound like a total fan girl or anything, but do you think I could see your guitar? I used to play in college and from what I could see from the front row, you play quite a beauty."

A soft chuckle, almost purr, feel from Tommy's plump lips and he nodded. "Sure, come on," he said, motioning for me to follow after him. The instruments and equipment were still set up on stage. "Adam's told us all a lot about you—" He must have seen the look that crossed my face because he instantly inserted "—Oh, no, nothing bad, don't worry! He only tells us how talented you are and how amazing your art is. He says he misses you once in a while and he always says he should call. Anyway, he's told us a lot about you but he never said you could play an instrument?"

"I never told him. Even when we first started dating, he was into music and I was afraid that if he knew, he's get some crazy notion for us to start a band or something," I explained, stepping out onto the stage, following the pink haired boy over to the stand his guitar rested on. "I'm sure by now you know how… excitable he can be."

"No kidding." In the blink of an eye, Tommy's beloved instrument was in my hands and he was looping the strap over my shoulder. "You used to play," he muttered with a dashing smile that nearly took my breath away. How were his lips _so_ full? I didn't understand… The only person I'd ever seen with lips like his definitely didn't have anything dangling between her legs. "Play me something," he purred once the guitar was firmly strapped around my shoulder.

"Well… Um, I think I remember a song or two, maybe," I mumbled, blushing deeply. Thankfully my tan was dark enough to hide most of it, so it looked fainter than it really was. Plucking the guitar pick from it's place between three of the cords, I tried to pull back some of the songs I used to know by heart and managed to get most of "Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns 'N Roses out without too many mistakes. Tommy was laughing quietly.

"Not bad for a fancy shamsy artist," he teased and, like Adam had earlier, I blushed but unlike Adam, I wasn't pale, thankfully. "Good thing you never did tell Adam about your guitar playing because Adam definitely would have tried to hook you up to an amp and now you even have the look to be on stage."

"Trust me, that wasn't my intention. David, my business partner and best friend, convinced me to dye my hair," I replied, hoping my blush wasn't worsening. I couldn't tell if I was heating up out of embarrassment or if I was imagining it. Both tended to happen and for some reason I kept looking at those damned lips… Weird, since I used to dislike this boy so much.

"It suits you. I mean, you looked great as a brunette but this red; it's just… gorgeous and edgy. Breathtaking, really," he said, twirling the end of my braid around his right index finger.

"Adam swore up and down that you were straight but… If I didn't know any better, I'd say that you definitely aren't. Unless I'm totally misreading you, and usually I'm very good at figuring things like this out, you're totally flirting with me, aren't you?" I asked before I could really stop myself. Of course I'd been flirting but I thought it was just playful and fun because he was "straight", but he was flirting back. I would swear my life on it. Maybe my hair and clothes made me look more feminine but not enough to mistake me for a girl.

"Well… What Adam doesn't know won't hurt him? Sounds like a legitimate excuse to me, don't you agree?"

"Yes, sure," I agreed, setting the guitar back on its stand carefully. My main goal was to flirt, not to see his guitar but that didn't mean that it wasn't an important piece of equipment. I didn't want to be known as the desperate redhead who scratched Tommy Joe Ratliff's guitar… "It really is a gorgeous instrument, Tommy."

"She is gorgeous, yes… But not nearly as gorgeous as you are." Okay, he was definitely fucking flirting with me and it wasn't just playful or innocent…

With the guitar safely sitting on its stand and out of the way, Tommy closed the little bit of distance between us. I was suddenly very aware of a slight issue forming in my shorts. Why did I wear such skanky clothes again? To make Adam jealous, make myself feel okay around Adam's model boyfriend or pick up band members? "Quite the charmer, aren't you?" I whispered, trying to keep my cool and flirtatious attitude but now I was nervous. If Tommy came any closer, my half hard on would be rubbing into his waist (I was taller than him, despite people who believe I'm the same height as him. Honestly, where do people get these notions?) and I really didn't need him thinking I was desperate to get into a rocker's pants.

And then Tommy's lips were pressed to the area of my neck underneath my ear. "Sometimes," he breathed out, fiery air fanning across the tattoo that stretched across that side of my neck. As hard as I tried, I simply couldn't help it and a soft moan fell from my lips. Sometimes I truly regretted tattooing my neck because every person I ever dated or even just slept with used it against me. The shape pressed into my skin was very clearly a smirk and Tommy breathed against my skin again.

"Fuck… Okay," I growled quietly, backing away from him. "So you lied to Adam about being gay and now you're making a move on me? Why?"

"I didn't really lie to him, Drake…" Tommy mumbled but his chocolate eyes had gone mostly black and as a man, I knew he wasn't in the mood for explanations. "I never looked at a man this way before and before you say anything, no, it's not just because you kind of look like a girl."

"Why then? We hardly even know one another."

Despite the obvious arousal in Tommy's eyes, he didn't push to skip the conversation. That was new to me. Usually if a boy was horny, he was pushy until he got what he wanted but Tommy didn't seem to be very ordinary. "Honestly? You're the only boy I've ever looked at. I know we don't know each other too well but… For me, this isn't just a spur of the moment type thing. You caught my eye the first day I met you, back when you and Adam were still together. Trust me, I feel like an idiot for admitting this to you, especially since you didn't like me back then, but I never expected it to happen. Adam said he wanted to introduce you to us because he wanted you to be apart of his career. I didn't think anything of it other than I was going to meet my friend's boyfriend and then he brought you to lunch and you were just… Jesus, my heart was stuck in my throat. Back then I felt so guilty about it because you were Adam's boyfriend and you hated me because you felt like I was competition for him, or something. I hated that you had such a negative opinion of me, but I couldn't exactly blame you and I couldn't do anything to get closer to you because of Adam…"

"I don't understand… I'm nothing to get overly excited about. I'm certainly not enough to make a straight man gay, Tommy," I said quietly but my throat had run dry so my speech was a little weak.

"Don't say that, Drake, don't, okay? I'm not going to pretend to understand how you changed my mind and I'm not going to pretend to understand how Adam could give someone as amazing as you up, but it's his loss. Breaking up with Adam shouldn't make you feel like you're nothing special. Adam may be happy with Sauli, but I know he regrets losing you. He always has and I know why, because you're the type of boy who is just amazing to be around," Tommy exclaimed with such passion that I was choking back tears. David had always been able to make me happy after my breakup with Adam but absolutely no one had ever made me feel like I was a prize that Adam lost. Usually it was vice versa. "Even when you were on Adam's arm, I fell for you and seeing you here again… God, Drake…"

Most of my friends claimed I was sassy. Some even said I was worse than just "sassy", so I wasn't usually caught at a loss of words, but right at that moment… I couldn't think of anything to say but how could I deny not feeling the same? Had I not just been flirting up a storm? Had I not watched him the entire show? Now that Adam and I were no longer an item and I had no reason to dislike Tommy, I liked him a lot more than I should have.

So I did the only thing that came to mind and I leaned over, pressing my lips to his. Tommy's confession eased us both out of our excited states of arousal, but the heat lingered and for a moment, nothing mattered but Tommy's overly full lips pressed perfectly to mine. Thankfully the concert hall had been cleared out while I was speaking with Adam and it never even crossed my mind that another band member might see us. It just didn't matter.

Tommy's moan rippled through my lips, meshing with my own and before I knew what was happening, his tongue was half way down my throat and my back was pressed into one of the obnoxiously large amps. Even though we really didn't know each other all that well, I couldn't bring myself to mind this. In fact, this was the first satisfying kiss I had received since Adam and I broke up. Okay… so maybe it was a little bit more than a kiss but that just made it a little bit better, now didn't it?

Cool fingers brushed over every exposed strip of burning flesh and the only thing that kept our moans from ringing out was the intense kissing that didn't seem to stop. Eventually I was sitting on the amp with Tommy between my thighs. Just trust me when I say that we were, quite literally, having sex with our clothes on.

Our lips didn't part once.

Unfortunately all good things need to come to an end and Tommy broke our kiss, one hand grasping my hair and the other tightly groping my ass. "Fuck… I want you so badly but we aren't exactly in the best place for something like this… We're out in the open. Someone could see us and if I'm going to take that gorgeous ass of yours, I want to do it right." If my face wasn't already flushed from all of the kissing and groping, I would have blushed madly.

"You're right…" I panted and sadly I couldn't just take him back to my studio and have my way with him either. I came to see Adam, not Tommy, and I was sure Adam would be wondering where we'd gone soon enough. "Let's go back to the others. Adam said you were in town for the rest of the week so maybe we can sneak away later and go to my place."

"Sounds good. We should get back there before Adam gets done cleaning up. I know he takes a while and all, but we're probably pushing it…" he replied and he helped me up. Thankfully our make out session was enough to ease the pain of serious arousal but I didn't think we would be satisfied until we actually got naked and fucked like animals.

Since we couldn't risk something like that with Adam and his band around, we pealed ourselves away from one another and fixed our appearances enough to be presentable before venturing backstage once again. Adam seemed to be coming out of his dressing room with Sauli, freshly changed and cleaned. "So Sauli and I were talking with the rest of the band. They seem pretty tired, so they're gonna go check into the hotel but the two of us were wondering if you would like to join us for some late night dinner?" Adam asked, walking over to us. He seemed more somber than he had earlier and I wondered if he had a fight with one of his friends, or something.

"Oh, um, sure, I haven't eaten a thing today," I agreed and Tommy nodded next to me.

"Drake, honey, you are way too skinny to not be eating," Sauli said to me and for what seemed like the millionth time tonight, I bit my tongue. He was super model skinny and he was telling me to eat? Geez. "But we were hoping you could give us a good recommendation? You do know this area the best. We were hoping for some good old fashion Cajun food. Adam said you were an amazing cook but you're a guest and I told him it was rude to ask you to cook for us."

Chuckling, I nodded, looking at Adam with an arch in one brow, a look he probably knew all too well. "Sure, there's a great restaurant downtown. An old friend of mine is the head chef there. It's a little on the pricey side but Adam's a famous pop star, so." Adam rolled his eyes but he smiled. It seemed a little forced though, maybe he was regretting inviting me. There's no way he could have seen Tommy and I and not said anything by now…

"Sounds great, care to give us a ride? We kind of just have a giant tour bus and, well, don't want that kind of attention just to go to dinner," Adam said. I agreed, since I was the only one who knew how to get to the restaurant anyway. Once Adam and Sauli were in the back of my convertible and Tommy was in the passenger's seat, in awe of what a gorgeous car I owned, I drove to On the Bayou, one of the biggest Cajun restaurants in Louisiana.

The hostess recognized me immediately. She was a friend of mine and she kissed my cheek, completely ignoring the fact that I was with a few famous people. It gave me a hallow sort of satisfaction that she completely ignored Adam and paid attention to me. She sat us in a private corner of the restaurant, sure it was late, but Louisiana boys and girls knew how to party, so the place was still pretty packed. Thankfully Delilah—the head chef- always had the host/hostess give me a private booth.

"Pretty much everything here is good, so don't bother asking for recommendations," I told them, not bothering to look at a menu. I always ordered the same thing and if Delilah didn't know that by now then I might just have to smack a bitch.

The boys all started flipping through the menu. Tommy started to ask me about some sort of spice that came on the catfish when Adam's voice rang crisp and clear from behind his menu. "So I think we need to talk…" he said.

"About what?" I asked because I didn't like where this was heading. He sounded far too serious to have anything good to say. Adam was generally free spirited and goofy and when he got serious, well it wasn't usually foreshadowing the best conversation. "If it's about Tommy and I disappearing on you, he was just showing me his guitar." I figured it was probably better to confess to something small because there was a chance that that would solve the problem.

"Oh I'm sure he did."

"Adam…?" Tommy asked although he was a bit rigid in the booth next to me. We were both expecting the worst, it seemed.

"We saw you. Both of you," Adam muttered, setting his menu down, his eyes scanning from Tommy to me. "And I don't think even we moved that fast, Drake." A hand went over my face instantly, trying to hide the look of embarrassment and shame that passed over my features while Tommy tried to tell Adam that he could explain what happened. I didn't know exactly how much Adam saw and I was afraid to know because I already felt like I could cry. If Adam reacted the way he did to my friendship with David, this was not going to be pretty. "Please do explain, Tommy." Adam wasn't exactly cold or condescending but he wasn't happy, that much was obvious.

A soft sigh fell from the pink haired boy's lips and his eyes fell to the table. "Look, I've… I know I told you that I was straight and I was but I just had this crush on Drake way back when you and I first met and I met him for the first time but ignored it because I didn't want to complicate things for you and Drake. I didn't want to mess up our friendship either and Drake kind of hated me because you kissed me on the AMAs and everything…" Tommy started and while he was rambling, he was at least getting his point across. "Then you two split and I didn't want to cause more drama because it was already hard enough on the both of you but then he showed up tonight… I really just couldn't hide it anymore. I promise, Adam, this wasn't planned and I didn't meant to feel up your ex boyfriend after talking for five minutes. It all just burst out and please, please don't hate us." Somewhere along his mini rampage, Tommy took my hand under the table, squeezing it hard.

"I'll admit that I'm a little hurt by this but… Sauli brought some things to my attention after we saw you that have made me see that I have no right to feel anything other than happiness for you. I have found a person who makes me happy and… if you two can be happy, then I won't stand in your way," Adam said, folding his hands on the tabletop. Even if I was with Tommy, hearing Adam talk so fondly of Sauli still made my stomach twist in jealousy. However it was hard to hate Sauli when he seemed so sweet and whatever he said to Adam had made him realize he had no reason to be angry with us. I wouldn't say that I owed him one but, well, I did, kind of.

But he did steal my boyfriend right?

"I really didn't expect something like this to happen, Adam, I hope you believe me. I didn't come to your concert just to hook up with some hot boy but now that I don't have a reason not to like him… It's really hard not to like him," I said, trying to justify my actions even if it wasn't necessary. Tommy blushed beside me, squeezing my hand gently again.

Thankfully Delilah coming up to the table cut our extremely awkward conversation short. "Drake!" she exclaimed and I stood up just in time to catch her throwing his arms around me. "How are you, my God, I haven't seen you in ages!" she added, kissing my cheek gently.

"Well," I started, motioning to Tommy. "This cutie is my boyfriend and my best friend put me on TV. How do you think I'm doing, sweetheart?" Hopefully the term "boyfriend" didn't scare Adam off, but I assumed that was what he was, my boyfriend. He did admit to being infatuated with me since the first time he saw me.

"Oh, well, he is delicious!" She said, eying Tommy but more or less ignoring Adam and Sauli. Two people who were more interested in me that felt fantastic… "And your bestie, you mean David? How is he? I haven't heard from him in so long, the asshole!" And we chatted for just another moment before she took our orders, meanwhile teasing me about hanging out with cute boys instead of doing my work. That's pretty much how Delilah was. "Oh, the Witches Martini is my favorite, pop star," she said once Adam placed his order, including the martini. Everything in the restaurant was themed to a Mardi Gras setting and such.

"That's because you are a witch," I commented and she laughed, kissing my cheek before scampering off towards the kitchen.

"So… who is she?" Adam asked once the four of us were alone again. "We dated for years and you never mentioned her?"

"She's my ex girlfriend." That got me three sets of shocked expressions turned my direction.

"What?" Tommy and Adam exclaimed together.

All right, I should not have admitted to her being my former love interest. Fuck. "I met her in college and back then I wasn't really sure about my sexuality. I mean, I knew I liked boys but I wasn't exactly willing to all myself gay, mostly because my parents weren't accepting of homosexuals and I just felt like I couldn't be one… Delilah was just my friend for a bit, but we went to a Killers concert and ended up making out behind a couple of people smoking weed. We got a buzz and, well, she ended up being my girlfriend for the better part of a year," I explained, shrugging it off as if it were nothing. To me, it was nothing but to Adam, the glam pop star who didn't even know what a vagina looked like? Yeah, it was a big deal.

"And we're just now hearing about this?" Adam asked, arching a speculative eyebrow in my direction. This is exactly why I didn't tell him about the fact that I did date girls before I met him, the nosy bastard.

"Is it important?"

Adam rolled his eyes. "It's just something I didn't know. I always assumed that you were gay, since we did have sex alllllllllllllll the time," he commented, smirking a little. Of course he was pleased with himself for that sort of comment… "I'm just shocked that any girl would put with a queen like you, that's all." He was teasing, but his timing was horrible because Delilah was coming back with our drinks.

For Sauli and I, we had the House Margarita (even though I hadn't spent much time with Sauli, it was extremely hard to deny how similar we truly were and I wasn't really sure how to feel about that), for Adam the witch martini and Tommy had a Blue Moon beer. He was definitely the manliest one at the table and he had pink hair. That says a lot, doesn't it? "Now honey, just because Drake here's a queen, don't mean I can't take him by his glittered horns and ride him into the sunset," she said as she served the drinks and I rolled my eyes. She always claimed to know that I was gay before I did but she didn't have a single issue having sex with me anyway.

"Thank you, Delilah but I'm not a queen and I do not have glittered horns! Now why don't you do what you're good at and go make my dinner?" I asked, scowling at her. As if tonight hadn't been embarrassing enough for me.

"As usual, to pussy to man the kitchen himself," she smirked, patting my cheek and I cautioned her about throwing around the word pussy in the wrong context. "Not my fault you were unsatisfied with the way I handled you, noooo, you have to go for the cock," she replied, kissing my cheek. "I'm just teasing and you know that."

"Of course I do, you're just hatin' cause I'm prettier than you are and I don't need breasts and a vagina to do it."

"I don't need looks to get the dicks into my bed."

"No, you're skanky enough to take them all so the boys keep rolling in." We sounded like we hated each other, but Delilah was my best and closest friend from college. It was just the norm to continuously make fun of each other.

"Better believe it, boy, got more dicks than you," she said, winking as she walked back to the kitchen. She also wasn't afraid to agree with someone's insults. The three boys sitting with me seemed a bit stunned. Tommy and Sauli said that they liked her but Adam seemed a little afraid. Rightfully so, she was me with a vagina. For someone like Adam, that was a truly frightening thing.

"Sorry about her, she's obnoxious," I said, acting as if I wasn't equally obnoxious. "Anyway, what were we talking about?" I asked, although I was hoping, praying eve, that we wouldn't start talking about our relationship statuses again. I didn't want to talk about dating girls and I didn't want to talk about my new relationship with Tommy or Sauli and Adam's relationship.

"Actually, getting back to our original conversation topic… Now that we're all out in the open with our relationships and we're enjoying a nice dinner together, I have a request," Adam said, sipping his drink casually (Delilah had taken our menus after we ordered). "I think we should have a foursome."

"Adam?" Sauli exclaimed, eyes wide in his boyfriend's direction. Apparently Adam hadn't pulled anything like this with him yet but I should have seen it coming. When we were together, we had a few threesomes and foursomes, usually with Brad and Cassidy. However I was just as shocked as everyone else and even choked on my margarita. "Are you sure that's even a good idea?" Maybe Sauli was worried about Adam still having feelings for me or maybe Sauli was trying to protect my feelings, and me I didn't really know but at least he wasn't thinking with his dick. Of course seeing Tommy and I got Adam aroused… The man had the sex drive of a God, powerful and never ending. Shit.

"Sure, why not? Tommy and Drake have each other and I have you. It would just be for fun, you know?" Adam said causally, shrugging a little. "I'd be lying if I said I didn't have a bit of a crush on Tommy at some point and I saw the way you've been eyeing my ex boyfriend, Sauli…" Sauli's pale cheeks lit up a bright pink color to match Tommy's hair and I looked away. So I caught Sauli's interest, Tommy's interest and apparently Adam's interest since he was suggesting this.

Shoulders shrugged next to me and out of the corner of my eye, I saw Tommy smile a little. "Sure, I guess, but I get to have Drake before any of you. He is my boyfriend after all." I glanced across the table and I swore I saw a little flare of jealousy in Adam's eyes. The only reason I could place it is because I felt it constantly.

"Well… I suppose it could be fun," Sauli piped in, still blushing like his face was slowly morphing into a tomato. "Drake? You're awfully quiet."

"Um…" Everyone wanted this and I didn't want to be the person to ruin it but… Fucking Hell, how could I sleep with my ex boyfriend and the boy he replaced me with? It just screamed bad idea and I knew why but I didn't even want to admit it to myself. "I haven't had a smoke since before the concert and I could really use one," I finally decided on saying because I didn't want to be the party killer but how could I just agree to this?

Before anyone could stop me, I was half way out of the restaurant, going to my car to grab a pack of cigarettes from the center stack. Yes, I had quit for a while but after so long of being single, the horrible habit came back. I smoked as little as I possibly could but it was still at least one or two a day. So today happened to be three, sue me. I'll light up and smoke blow smoke in your face like the asshole that I am.

Cigarette hanging from my lips, I light the end with a zippo lighter and took a long, overdo drag on it, sitting in the front seat of my car. Leaving the top down was a stupid idea but I had the keys and there was nothing worth stealing inside the car except for my cigarettes. If someone was desperate enough to hotwire my car, I had insurance.

"Drake?" God damn it, I didn't even get through half of my cigarette before Sauli's voice reached my ears. "Drake…" he repeated, sitting in the passenger's seat. "What was all that about?"

"What was all what about? I'm a smoker, I need a smoke every so often," I said, taking a particularly long drag on the cigarette, blowing the smoke out slowly after holding it in longer than I should have. It helped me relax in the center of a stressful situation. "Please don't lecture me about what a disgusting habit it is, I'm perfectly aware of that."

Sauli sighed beside me, turning in his seat to face me. "You know that's not what I came out here to talk to you about. You didn't come out here because you wanted a smoke, you came out here because the rest of us just agreed to a foursome and you freaked out. If you don't want to, just say so, it's not a crime," he said while I blew gray smoke into an ever-blackening sky. "I came out here to make sure you were okay and to ask you to talk to me? Obviously you need to open up to someone."

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I don't exactly thing that my ex boyfriend's current boyfriend is really the best person for me to talk to. I hope you'll understand that without being offended," I said, finishing up my cigarette while reaching for another. Usually one was enough but not today.

However Sauli took it upon himself to cut me off and he took my pack before I could. "On the contrary, I think I might be the best person for you to talk to because I understand where you're coming from. Now please? Talk to me? You sure as Hell won't talk to Adam about this and you don't want to talk to Tommy about it because you don't want to scare him away. I know it isn't exactly conventional for the ex and the current boyfriend to become friends but I really like you and I'd like to help…"

For a while, I was silent and I believe I was justified in practically ignoring Sauli, but he was right. I wouldn't talk to Adam; I didn't want to pull Tommy into how I was feeling. Who else was I going to talk to? Delilah? She would probably just kick Adam's glittery ass. David? He was the only person I ever did tell but he didn't really know how to help me. Usually he just hugged me and that was all he could do because he didn't know how to help me.

"You're afraid, aren't you?" Sauli said after several minutes of silence. Out of what I assumed to be a gesture of friendship, Sauli took a cigarette from the pack he'd taken from me and handed it over.

Hitting way to close to home, Sauli… "Afraid of what?"

"Adam. Your feelings. I know you're very interested in Tommy, but you only just got together. You aren't at the point of loving him yet but… But you do love Adam; at least a part of you does, anyway. I won't say that I know a lot about what happened between you two but when he was getting dressed after the concert, I asked him and he told me quite a few things that he didn't seem thrilled to admit. He said he treated you like you didn't matter when he became famous and that he did a lot of things that he never really meant to do. He also told me that he always wanted to apologize but could never work up the courage and from what I've gathered, it's safe to say that you never got closure," he started, locking eyes with me. "I understand how that feels because I went through a similar situation with my ex. Before I found someone else, I was always afraid that my feelings for him would come back and I think that's what you're afraid of now, am I right? You never got closure, so you think having a foursome could resurrect that love you had for Adam?"

"You must really not be all the interested in Adam or extremely understanding… I don't want to be the guy who ruins a fun night but…" Sighing, I rubbed my temple, taking a long drag from my second cig. I couldn't really believe that I was having this conversation with Adam's new boyfriend. This was the guy who replaced me for God's sake! We weren't supposed to be all buddy-buddy and he wasn't supposed to be my confident.

To my surprise, Sauli took a cigarette from the pack and lit it up. Sure, models used alcohol and smoking to keep from eating so they could stay thing but I always assumed that was a stereotype and I definitely didn't think that Sauli was the smoking type but it was just another thing that made us so similar. Did Adam just trade me in for a better model? Probably. "I think Adam needs closure to. I think that's why he invited you to this show, but then he saw you and got cold feet. I think your super gorgeousness caught him off guard and he just lost his balls."

"Wouldn't be the first time." Oops, I thought I turned my sass off for the night but apparently not…

Luckily for me, Sauli just laughed and nodded along. "I know what you mean," he hummed, chuckling. "But in all seriousness. You're afraid that the feelings you've spent so long trying to smother will come back, aren't you?"

"I don't want to be afraid of that, Sauli, I really don't. When I was with Tommy on that stage, I couldn't even claim to care about Adam but now that we've calmed down and I've returned to reality. I don't know, I just don't," I said, taking another obnoxiously long drag. "To be honest, I still care about him. I always will care but I don't want to anymore. Okay, that came out wrong, I don't want to care about him that way. I wish it was just easy enough for us to be friends…"

"But?"

"But… You're right I never got closure. Our break up was just so bad. We were both angry and hurting and Adam's sudden fame was putting a constant strain on our relationship and we just lashed out at each other. I know we both said a lot of things we didn't mean but to be perfectly honest, the things I accused him of were completely true," I rambled while smoke poured out from my mouth and nose. It was either erotically attractive or completely disgusting. "I knew that the fame was just going to his head and that eventually he would realize what a dick he had been. I always thought he would call me up and apologize. I always figured that he would apologize and then I would apologize and I know our relationship wasn't perfect but I figured that we would work on it and he would still be the one, you know? And we would talk all the time. He always seemed to try and get some sort of apology out but he would choke up and then the conversation would end." An almost sad sort of sigh fell from my lips while I finished my second cigarette. "And then he called and told me about you. Please don't take this the wrong way, but I knew then that if I didn't tell him how I still felt, that I would lose him and instead of admitting that I loved him, I just said, "oh, he sounds great… I'm so happy for you". I don't want to regret letting him go but I haven't seen him in so long and if this were to happen, I'm afraid that I won't be able to let go…"

Well if that wasn't spilling your guts, what the fuck was?

"Look, I know it can't be easy for you to be around me but I want things to get better for the both of you. You aren't the only one who's still in love and I don't blame Adam for loving you because part of me still loves my ex. That and the fact that you seem like such a great guy." Obviously he was trying to cheer me up and it worked, because I smiled a little.

"If we're being honest, I tried my damnedest to hate you but you're just… too sweet to hate and you're a really good guy. Obviously, since you're out here trying to make Adam's old boyfriend feel better."

"I hope I helped?" he asked, looking hopeful and I just nodded. Getting it all off of my chest did help me feel better but it didn't give me the closure that I so desperately needed. Tommy was fantastic and amazing and I wanted to be able to form a happy and successful relationship with him without having to constantly worry about things that should have been put behind me. "Good, now come back inside with me? I'm sure our dinners are getting cold and your girlfriend is missing you."

"Which one are you talking about, Tommy or Delilah?" I asked, chuckling softly at my own pathetic joke. Sauli laughed quietly and climbed out of the car, waiting for me to join him. "Just give me another minute. I need to fix my makeup," I told him. He gave me a skeptical look and I couldn't blame him since I was only wearing a bit of eyeliner and there was nothing wrong with it.

"All right," Sauli mumbled, running his fingers through his short hair. "Don't be too long though, okay? I think Adam's already feeling guilty about mentioning a foursome. Oh… And Drake?" I glanced up at him. "If you really want to know the truth, I think Adam is just as scared as you are. I think that, maybe, he suggested a foursome to get close to you again. Might have been subconscious on his part but that's at least part of it. Don't stay out here too long, with the way you're dressed, you'll catch cold," he told me as he turned away from the car and started to walk back into the restaurant.

My eyes followed his perfect ass until he disappeared into the building. How did I ever want to hate someone so wonderful? And now I felt fucking guilty about never liking him because he was just so sweet. I should have focused all of that energy on getting over Adam but unfortunately it just didn't work like that. How much easier would life be if people could just use energy to get the fuck over their hardships?

As much as I wanted to stay outside and away from the boys, I eventually dragged myself back inside. Like Sauli predicted, my food was pretty cold by the time I got back to it but it was still delicious, so I ate it without a complaint. When Adam and Tommy asked me if I was all right, I nodded but wasn't really interested in talking too much. The conversation around me was casual and mostly about the tour and the shows. I didn't really talk unless someone asked me a direct question. Most of my contribution was humming and nodding in agreement.

Usually I attempted to keep myself from drinking a lot when I needed to drive and/or I was trying to have a nice night out, but I went through three and half margaritas. Despite my small frame, I could hold my alcohol rather well and I wasn't really drunk, just a little buzzed and I wasn't the only one. We all got a little carried away with how many drinks we ordered and we all ended up sharing a rather large molten chocolate lava cake (hot fudge in the center of a cake so when you cut into it, the hot fudge flows out like lava). All the while, Adam was complaining about needing to lose weight and how he shouldn't be eating junk food.

He didn't really seem to regret it in the end.

"So… back to the bus for you guys? Or are you staying in a hotel?" I asked. I was still hoping to sneak away with Tommy, but I couldn't just abandon Adam and Sauli in the middle of downtown New Orleans. They would get lost and possibly assaulted and I couldn't have something like that on my conscious so I would give them a ride. I wasn't drunk enough to be incapable of driving.

"The bus would be fantastic," Adam said and for someone who had downed four martinis, he seemed rather sober. I couldn't help but wonder what was said between the three while I was smoking outside because even while we were talking and laughing and having a good time, Adam seemed very surreal.

Being the famous and rich pop star that he is, Adam picked up the check and left a pretty hefty tip. Before we left, I planted a gentle kiss on Delilah's cheek, promising her a night out before I flew back to LA. She teased me about having a good, sex filled night and we spoke for a moment before the three boys and I piled into my car.

With my amazing driving abilities and knowledge of New Orleans, I managed to get Adam, Sauli, Tommy and myself safely back to the tour bus. I waited for Adam and Sauli to climb out, hoping that once they were in the bus, I could take Tommy home with me, but Adam didn't move. Sauli climbed out of the back and took Tommy by the arm. "Come on," he said to the pink haired boy, pulling him from the car.

"Hey, where are you two going?" I asked, watching as Sauli pulled my new boyfriend towards the tour bus, as if they were going off to do something naughty and dirty. Tommy didn't resist.

"Adam knows what to do," Sauli said and with that, he and Tommy disappeared onto the bus.

"What did he mean by that? Adam… What's going on?" One thing I desperately wanted to avoid tonight was being alone with Adam. I didn't think I had much to worry about because Sauli would be there (although that was an entirely different problem for me) and Adam's band and dancers would be there but here we were, sitting in my car in the middle of an empty parking lot and one in the morning.

Alone.

"Not to get anyone in trouble, but before you came inside, Sauli pulled me away from the table—away from Tommy—for a moment to tell me what was going on," Adam said, climbing out of the back seat. I turned the car off (no reason to waste gas, right?) and climbed out as well, leaning against the hood of the convertible. "I avoided this for so long when I shouldn't have and I… I was a jerk. About everything."

"Okay?" I asked. That was really a half assed attempt at an apology. "Thanks for pointing out the obvious?"

"No… No, I mean, we ended things on bad terms back before I went on Glam Nation and we never really got a chance to fix is. Maybe fixed is a bad choice of words. We…" He sighed, sounding rather upset if I had to guess. "We failed to put these unresolved feelings to rest. I know I left you wondering so much and I only made it worse by calling you up to tell you that I found someone else." Was he ashamed of himself?

Once Adam was silent for a moment and I realized that he was waiting for me to talk, I couldn't hold back the question I'd wanted to ask since Adam first called me about that concert. "Adam, why did you even invite me to this concert? I don't understand because… Because I used to think you and I would be together forever. I thought that you were it, that you were the one person who would never hurt me and when we broke up, well it was one of the hardest things I ever went through but I figured you would call me. When I say call, I mean call to tell me that you were sorry, not to call me just to chat. When you finally seemed to man up enough to apologize, you really only called to tell me about Sauli." My voice was straining simply because I was trying to hold back the tears that wanted to fall. This was the first time in over a year that I really talked about this and I was talking to _Adam_ about it for fuck's sake!

This is what we both needed though, that much I knew.

"Drake—"

"You made it pretty clear to me when you told me about Sauli that we were over and once you got serious with him, it was like we weren't even friends anymore because you stopped calling me all together. We haven't talked in so long and you call me to invite me to a concert out of the blue? Why?" I asked, cutting him off because I wasn't done.

Adam seemed to be staring at me in the darkness but my vision was fuzzing from trying to adjust to almost no light and the alcohol that was pumping through me. "I missed you…" he finally mumbled. "I wanted to see you and hopefully fix things… Fix what we've become. I know we can't go back to what we were but I fucked up so badly and never did anything to fix it. But I can't let go and I had to try and make up for all of the horrible things I'd done but when I saw you—" He seemed to have a hard time finding the right words and he was truly pouring his heart out. I knew that from when we were a couple. "—A thousand feelings hit me at once and I couldn't face you out of shame. Not to mention, there was this fire inside of me and I wanted you because I love you but there was also guilt and sadness and…"

"And?" I asked, figuring that the only way I could hold back tears was to be a little offensive. "And what…? You think saying that you're sorry now is going to make things better? That after so long, just saying that you're sorry is going to make seeing you and being around you easier? That it'll make seeing you with someone else easier?" As sweet and amazing as Sauli was, it was going to be a long time before I could look at him on Adam's arm without getting jealous, that was sure.

Adam stepped forward, closing the distance between us a bit. "I want you to forgive me for being a complete screw up," he admitted and he seemed to smile rather sadly. "You know it really isn't easy to look at Sauli sometimes, because he's just like you. He's smart. He's got your humor. When he smiles it's like everything that was good in our relationship is between his fucking teeth. You eyes are exactly alike and fuck… Sauli said you wanted closure for everything and I… I want forgiveness before I screw up and drive you away forever." I had to turn my gaze away because I couldn't stand to squint at him anymore. "I know I almost did tonight." That's when one tear rolled down my right cheek and I could only hope that the dim light would mask it.

"So Sauli's just an upgrade of me? Not much closure but I'm glad you're with someone who is so good for you." My tone wasn't exactly accusing, more like injured.

"What? No… No, no, no, baby—" he rambled, moving to sit on the hood next to me. "That's not how I meant it. He's not an improved you, he's… He has some qualities but he's nothing like you. Shit, that sounded bad, please, I didn't mean it like that."

"Then how did you mean it?" I asked because really he wasn't making any sense. Anyone with eyes could see that Sauli and I were really similar.

"You want to know? Okay, here it is," he started, sighing again. "I'm not over you. How could I be? We… We were so in love and so happy and I ruined it because I got cocky and I became an asshole. I crushed everything that we built and then I was too scared to fix it. I convinced myself that you hated me because Hell, I deserved for you to hate me. I convinced myself that you had probably moved on so I did too…" Well at least he was finally taking responsibility for his actions and the things he'd done when we were dating. "I love Sauli and I don't see him as a rebound anymore but that's what he was when we first met."

To keep my hands occupied and my eyes focused on something other than Adam, I started to fix my braid. "Well if you're going to be honest, so will I. I don't think I'll every truly be over you but it hurts a lot to think that you were just too chicken to try and fix things and it took your new boyfriend to get you to finally talk to me. When I found out about Sauli, I didn't take it very well, to be frank. I didn't answer my phone calls for a while after you told me about him and I remember getting drunk and sleeping with some hot, random guy," I admitted, concentrating hard on my hair. "Being with Tommy makes it easier, but I'm not sure I'll ever be able to look at you and not have some part of me think that you're a bastard."

A few moments of silent passed before Adam turned to me, probably hoping I would look back at him. "I understand… I am a bastard and I suppose I can't expect you to forgive me for any of my shit. I messed up so much and didn't even bother to fix it. I hope Tommy helps to heal you because I fucking can't even heal myself." There was a soft choking noise from deep within Adam's throat before he could continue. "I'm sorry, okay? I can't say it enough and I know it'll never be enough but I'm so, so sorry. I'm sorry I fucked everything up and I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry I treated you like I never cared because I do; I care so much for you, more than possible. And I cannot take back anything… God, I wish I could."

"Do you really think that it's a good idea for us to try and be friends, Adam?" I asked, finally looking at him. "I understand that you love Sauli and that we won't be together again but… If neither one of us is truly over the other… I don't want to not be part of your life because the last couple of years have been so hard but…"

Now that we were so close, I could see the tears swimming in his eyes. "We can't be together, no, but I want us to be friends. I suppose I understand if you think it's best that we aren't. That's… Well it's not okay but we'll manage, I guess."

"I don't think that's what's best for us but what about what's best for Sauli and Tommy?" I asked and he just shook his head.

"They already understand our position, Drake, that's why Sauli is so determined to help you. They'll help us through this and most importantly, I think we need to help each other to heal and get over everything."

"How…?"

Adam hopped off of the car and moved to stand in front of me as he spoke. "I don't know but I do know that we'll figure it out." For a moment, we just stared at each other but eventually I grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him to me, hugging him tightly from my position on the hood of the car.

"I really hate you sometimes," I mumbled into his chest as his arms folded around me, holding me like he used to.

"I'm pretty despicable, I know…"

"Bet you're glittery ass…"

He chuckled into my hair. "I'm sorry for waiting for fucking ever to get all of this out. I should have done it the minute that we broke up… I'll always regret it because seeing you with Tommy isn't exactly easy either."

"Better late than never I suppose, however I do owe you something that's so far overdo," I said, slowly pulling out of his arms so I could whack him upside the head, hard enough to hurt but not hard enough to cause any real damage. He yelped, grabbing the back of his head as he jumped back. "You're an idiot for leaving me and don't you fucking forget it, Lambert."

Even while he rubbed the back of his head, he nodded, knowing that my hitting him was perfectly justified. "I won't. It's true," he agreed and before I could really stop myself, I put my arms around him again, pressing my lips to his. He gasped into my lips but he kissed me back. There were no shouts from our boyfriends in the bus so if they were watching they didn't say anything. We had talked about a foursome after all. "Drake—" he muttered into my lips but I knew that groggy tone he was using. It meant that he wanted to keep kissing and probably more so.

"Maybe a foursome isn't such a bad idea..." I whispered, my lips barely brushing his. A soft moan fell off of his lips and he sort of chased mine, probably completely forgetting who I was. He was definitely thinking with his dick now and our tender moment was gone. At least we had a chance to get everything off of our chests before this happened.

"What changed your mind?" he breathed followed by a whine as I pulled away from him. He grabbed for me but I was half way towards the bus by then.

"I got closure," I called over my shoulder. "And I got you to admit that you're an asshole and an idiot. That helped." I didn't hear Adam's reply because I stepped inside the bus, where Tommy and Sauli were both trying to look as casual as possible. However they were suspiciously close to the windows. "Were you two watching us?"

"What? No, course not," Sauli said but his voice was a little higher than normal which pretty much gave him away. Some people just could not pull off the lying.

"Is everything okay between you two?" Tommy asked, glancing outside to see what was keeping Adam.

Nodding, I walked over to him and sat in his lap. He was shorter than me, but I couldn't have cared less. "Everything's fine. We talked and said a lot of things that were long overdo and it'll take some time but I think everything is going to be all right," I told them both, putting my arms around Tommy's neck. "I also told him that I think having a foursome is a good idea." In truth, I wasn't going to admit all of my true motives for having a foursome. I didn't want to re-fall in love with Adam, that was what Sauli had asked me if I was fearful of.

No, in reality, it was possibly the only way to get a mild sort of revenge on Adam. Using my sexuality to my advantage may not have been most proper thing, but in the end Adam would enjoy it, I would enjoy it and Tommy and Sauli would enjoy it. I wasn't really hurting anyone, I was just… Going to have things my way for a night that was all.

"Are you sure, baby? I mean, I'm totally into it if you guys are but you seemed pretty freaked out earlier when Adam first mentioned it. And after you went outside to smoke, he felt really horrible about suggesting it," Tommy mumbled against my shoulder, his arms snaking tightly around my hips.

"I'm sure. Earlier I kind of freaked out but I'm okay now. As long as Adam and I don't actually have sex, it'll be okay," I assured him and turned to Sauli. "Adam's trying to compose himself right now, but he'll come back in just a few seconds. Here's what I think we should do. When Adam comes in, take him to the back of the bus. Tease him, get him aroused, trust me, that's an easy job. He's horny as Hell right now. Make him think he's going to get some action and then…"

"Handcuff him to the headboard so he has to watch the three of us?" Sauli asked, cutting me off. God, we were so similar it was frightening. Grinning, I nodded and just then, Adam climbed into the bus. His normally ocean blue eyes were dark and lust filled. Sauli instantly brushed up against him, purring into his ear. "Come to bed with me, baby," he muttered, sucking on Adam's earlobe.

The sound that the pop star made was definitely not human.

A protest began to roll off of Adam's lips, something about me agreeing to the foursome but Sauli shut him up with a quick nip to the throat and took his hand, tugging him passed Tommy and I. "Come on, Adam, we have a long night ahead of us," he said. Tommy didn't let go of me for a few moments and I figured that we'd have to wait for a little while so Sauli could get Adam tied down but it was only three minutes or so before we heard Sauli's voice ringing down the hall of the bus. "Boys! We're all set!"

"Come on, we have a pop star to torture," I said, standing with one of Tommy's hands in mine.

"You're such a naughty little bitch…"

"Trust me, honey, you'll have an amazing sex life with me," I replied with a wink. A wicked smirk crossed Tommy's girly lips and it was difficult not to start imagining all of the things Tommy and I could do together in a bedroom, a kitchen table, a shower, the back seat of a car… By the time we stepped into the back room that I was sure Adam used as his bedroom, I was hard in my shorts.

"What the fuck is going on?" Adam shouted at us and my lips contorted into a smirk to match Tommy's.

"Exactly what you suggested, darling," I purred, stepping over to the bed. Warm, foreign fingers immediately started to push up my shirt, soft, gentle lips molding to the back of my neck. All the while, Tommy knelt down on the bed, running his calloused fingers over Adam's denim clad erection. Sauli had been kind enough to remove his shirt, but his very defined erection was suffocating inside of his jeans and I was content to leave him like that.

"This is not what I had in mind!" I groaned, arching deeply into Tommy's hold while Sauli pulled my shirt over my head, tossing it over the bottom half of Adam's face, so he had to taste and smell my cologne and myself.

"Too bad," Sauli said to Adam, purring into my neck. His fingers ran over my erection while Tommy's ran over Adam's and I groaned, arching into the blond. "So how do we want to do this? I mean, obviously we're going to leave Adam there to watch while we have amazingly hot sex, but how do the three of us want to…?"

"I believe I can answer that," Tommy said, leaning over Adam's body, pressing his lips to mine, effectively sandwiching me between himself and Sauli. All the while, Adam was writhing beneath us and it gave me a sort of satisfied rush to my erection. Seeing Adam in such a pathetic and needy state was just so pleasurable. "Sauli, you're going to straddle Adam's thighs because that will be just enough to tease him without actually paying any attention to him. Drake, you're going to be between us, just like you are right now, only you'll be taking Sauli like the bitch that he is and me?" He ran his thumb over my lips slowly. "I'll be fucking that gorgeous Cajun ass that you so kindly framed in these skanky shorts for all of us to stare at and admire." His thumb pushed into my mouth while Sauli sucked on the tattoo on my neck, pulling a deep and obviously needy moan from my lips.

Then there was nothing, nothing but my aching erection rubbing along the inside of my shorts. Tommy had moved to the end of the bed, stripping quickly. Sauli had stripped as well and got into the position Tommy told him to take, straddling Adam's thighs. I knew that they expected me to strip and get into position as well but I couldn't peal my eyes away from Tommy. There was a gorgeous, naked model straddling a rock star right in front of my face and I couldn't take my eyes off of the guitar player. In the few moments I stood there staring, I memorized every single tattoo that adorned his arms, the way the light bounced off of his nipple rings making them shine, every single curve of his frame and the fact that his erection was bigger than Adam's… Oh dear Lord, Adam was almost too much for me to take, would I even be able to take Tommy?

"Baby?" Tommy whispered, crawling over to me. Quickly, he proved to me that his fingers were good for more than just playing the guitar because he unbuttoned, unzipped and tugged my shorts down in record time. "You all right, there?" he whispered, stroking him gently with one hand.

"Uhnn… I just wasn't prepared for you to be so… fucking beautiful," I growled, bucking into him. Pink filled his cheeks and he smashed his lips to mine, stroking my hard and throbbing erection a few times. Thankfully any man who masturbated, gay or straight, knew how to handle a dick and Tommy happened to know exactly how to flick his wrist and drag his thumb over the most sensitive areas. I thought I might come right then and there.

"Not nearly as gorgeous as you," he mumbled and I wasn't thinking clearly but I was sure he had said something like that to me earlier… His fingers slowly traced the large tribal tattoo that took up the majority of my upper and middle back and a shiver shot right down my spine to my dick, pulling a rather desperate moan from my lips.

"Um, boys… I really, really hate to interrupt such a sweet and sexy moment but… Uhn," Sauli growled at us with three of his own fingers shoved up into himself, stretching himself out easily. He and Adam were sure to have a healthy sex life, so he probably didn't need much prep. "I'm all for making Adam lay there and watch, but people don't make me do that too. I need—Aaahh!"

Warm moisture filled my ear as Tommy dipped his tongue into it briefly before sucking on my lobe and then nipping my tattoo harshly. "I think there's an ass in need of your cock, baby," he growled into my skin and he smacked my ass hard, pushing me forward.

Groaning, I crawled forward, straddling Adam's knees. Sauli didn't take any time in pressing right up against me, his fingers slipping from himself. "Please…" he breathed, rubbing against my erection. Moaning, I bucked forward, my cock slipping easily between his thighs, rubbing against the insides of his thighs and his hole. "God you already feel wonderful…" he groaned just as Adam whined below us. The raven-haired singer tugged on the handcuffs, trying desperately to get lose but Sauli did a brilliant job in restraining him.

With Sauli already open and needy and Adam restrained below us, I really didn't need any more invitation and I grabbed ahold of myself with one hand, Sauli's hip held tightly in the other as I lined myself up. We probably should have taken the precaution of condoms but we were all a little buzzed and we were all extremely needy, so we couldn't really find it within ourselves to care. We just had to trust each other and Sauli trust me because as I began to push in, he pushed back, forcing me in twice as fast.

"Oh fuck!" the blond cried, reaching back with one hand to fist my hair. Unless Adam discussed his sex life with me, Sauli had no way of knowing that I loved having my hair pulled and I slammed my hips into his ass, grinding hard which pulled another beautiful cry of pleasure from his lips. "Fucking Hell you feel fantastic!" he whined and with my eyes squeezed shut, I humped him. His breathing and Adam tugging on the handcuffs were the only things that I could hear besides my own heart pounding in my ears.

Then those wonderfully rough fingers that graced my cock only moments ago were on my hips. "Hold still for a moment," Tommy whispered into my ear as two fingers pushed into me relatively easily. It had been a while since I had sex, so I was tighter than usual but I was a young man with a sex drive, so masturbation did happen from time to time and it only took a little bit of lotion on Tommy's fingers to loosen me up. "Fuck you're tighter than I thought you'd be…" he mumbled, pushing a third finger in just to stretch me out enough to accommodate his bulk.

And then his fingers were gone and I didn't even have enough time to whine because the digits were replaced with an oversized cock pushing into me. "Oh… Oh god…" I hissed as the head pushed in and then I cried out into Sauli's shoulder from the stretch. Sauli groaned, pushing back on me who forced me to push back on Tommy and soon he was pressed right into my prostate. For the second time in the course of five minutes, I thought I was going to come instantly.

"Please… please untie me. Fucking God, untie me. I need—" Adam was whining but the three of us were too focused on one another to care about Adam's needs. The poor guy was probably dying in his jeans, but that's what I had planned from the beginning. Adam could deal with it for a little while longer.

The guitar player was sweet enough to give me a few moments to adjust and compose myself but once he decided I was relaxed enough, he didn't show me much mercy. His first thrust consisted of pulling almost all the way out just to slam back in, which forced me deep into Sauli and soon my thrusts matched Tommy's and my cries of pure and absolute pleasure blended with Sauli's. Adam was still begging for us to pay attention to him but none of us really seemed to care about his needs.

In reality, our moment of ecstasy probably only lasted for a few minutes, but to me it felt like an eternity of Tommy pounding into that sweet spot that made me see stars. I would have sworn on my mother's grave that it was a lifetime of me screaming with desire and barely holding back my orgasm.

When I didn't think I would be able to take much more of Tommy's powerful thrusts, I reached around Sauli to grab his erection, determined that I was not going to be the first one to come. The model bowed perfectly beneath me, bucking into my touch as I pumped him in time with Tommy's thrusts and mine. "Come on, baby… I know you want it, I know you need it," I growled low and husky into his ear.

"D-Drake… F-fucking-!" He choked on a cry of pleasure as he came, spraying his release onto Adam's jeans (which had formed a nice little wet spot of precum at the crotch) and stomach. The moment he came, he tightened around me, so much that I slammed into him out of time with Tommy and came instantly, filling the blond to the brim.

"Fuck…" Tommy groaned behind me as I contracted around him, thrusting hard into me as he came. Unlike me, he kept thrusting, riding out every last bit of his orgasm as he filled me and I collapsed onto Sauli's back. He somehow managed to keep himself from falling onto Adam even with my weight on him and once Tommy milked his orgasm for all it was worth, he pulled out of me, pulling a whine from me.

"Tommy, help Drake off of me and lie him down next to Adam," Sauli said quietly, shaking a little. Tommy didn't object and I wasn't exactly in a position to tell them no, so Tommy helped me steady and pull out of Sauli before I collapsed on my back next to Adam. "Now… Let's take a minute to get ahold of ourselves and then—" Sauli climbed over me, lying on top of me to give me a lazy, yet sexy kiss. "—I want to fuck this bad boy for all he's worth," he purred, kissing me again. "I want to give you the love someone as beautiful and wonderful as you deserves."

"Sauli, stop…" I muttered, blushing deeply.

"What about Adam?" Tommy asked, sitting on the rock star's other side. The poor boy was the only person who hadn't gotten his release yet and he was still trapped inside his trousers.

"You can take his jeans off, ease his pain a bit, but don't let him come yet and don't untie him," Sauli ordered, smirking over at his boyfriend, you quite literally whined back in his face. "Once I take Drake, you can take care of Adam. You know… Make him the bitch that he always likes to turn his boys into." I couldn't fight a smirk at that. Most of the time, Adam thought he deserved to top and he did love to own his boys. The thought of Tommy—a man who was even bigger than him—was just alluring.

"Oh I think I can handle that," Tommy commented, smirking down at Adam while he finally pealed away Adam's skinnies, which were practically glued to him with sweat and precum. "But I want to watch the two of you, so you better be in a position where I can see you while I take care of this whining bitch."

"Please, God, please!" Adam begged, gasping. "You all got your releases… Let me come, please!"

"No, you'll get yours when we get ours again," Sauli retorted lazily, gently kissing a mark either he or Tommy had left on my neck earlier.

"Fuck you and your gorgeous asses! You're all bastards!" Adam growled, looking down at us.

"Well if you insist…" Sauli mumbled and leaned up to kiss me passionately. Adam's groans reached my ear but I was too caught up with the kiss I had been sucked into. Sauli had this uncanny ability to draw someone's tongue out of his or her mouth and into his, like a high suction vacuum. It was really bizarre but I liked it a lot. If someone told me this morning that I would be sleeping with Adam Lambert's boyfriend, I would have told him or her they were crazy.

I probably would have said the same thing about Tommy too though and now Tommy was my boyfriend… And the first person that fucked me in quite a long while, I might add.

Too soon for my liking, Sauli pulled away from the kiss and pressed a warm, rough kiss into the side of my neck. He had an annoying habit of refusing to leave his lips in one place for more than a few seconds because soon his tongue was flicking out to tease my nipples, run along every defined muscle along my chest and abdomen, dip into my belly button… When he finally came to my swelling cock, he nuzzled my burning flesh, which allowed his breath to fan across my being.

"Tommy, can you hand me a pillow?" he muttered into my skin, mouthing my second full erection. There was no debate; I was going to be aching and tired tomorrow… I didn't see Tommy hand over the plush pillow, I wasn't even aware of it until Sauli was shoving it under my hips, lifting me a few inches off of the mattress.

"Tommy, please… Please!" Adam whined next to me, followed by the sound of him, once again, tugging on his cuffs. If he kept it up, his wrists were going to be chaffed raw.

"Not yet, shut up and watch them," Tommy mumbled and I heard an almost squeal like sound rip from Adam's throat, but I was far too overwhelmed by Sauli's lips wrapping around my cock to pay much attention to whatever Tommy happened to be doing to the glam pop star. They were really more like background noise, as much as I hated to admit it, because getting to watch the ever-popular fantasy couple fuck would be oddly erotic. How many thousands upon thousands of fans would pay to watch this entire scene…

"Sauli!" I cried as he bobbed his head, two of his fingers pushing into my already open and abused hole. There was no pain, only pleasure that coursed up through to my penis, which throbbed against the back of Sauli's throat. I could feel him moan around me as his tongue swept across every last inch of me, licking up what I was sure to be a pretty hefty about of cum and precum (I was still covered in my release from our earlier round. "Fuck, please…" I growled, thrusting into his mouth while Adam groaned beside me. I could practically hear what Adam was thinking. Something along the lines of 'how dare you fucking beg when you've left me tied up and ignore for the entire night, you little fuck!'

For what seemed like the hundredth time tonight, I was fighting the urge to just release into Sauli's mouth. When my balls tightened in preparation for an orgasm, the model wrapped his fingers around the base of my aching cock and forced my orgasm back, pulling a loud and inhuman sound of protest from my lips. "Shh… Relax. I'm not anywhere close to being done with you, baby," he whispered, slowly crawling up over me, settling between my thighs. "Take a deep breath," he whispered into my neck and before I even had time to take a breath, I felt him pushing into me. His bulk wasn't quite as big as Tommy, he was probably about the same size as me (sadly, I was a bit smaller than Tommy and Adam but don't start telling people that I'm small). His intrusion didn't exactly hurt but I wasn't prepared for it and I cried out, arching a bit.

Sauli told me to relax again and I did so, as much as I could. My braid was beginning to unravel and my hair fanned out around my head, eyes screwed shut as Sauli slowly sheathed himself inside of me. "Uhnn… God, you are so beautiful," he whispered into my ear and even though I could hear Tommy telling Adam to shut up and threatening to, once again, ignore him, it was all just background noise. If you were ever caught up in the moment, you would understand how nothing but the moment mattered.

"Oh shut up, it's just the hair dye," I replied hoarsely. My throat had run dry from all the cries and screams of ecstasy.

"I'm serious, I'm not looking at your hair, I'm looking at you," he whispered, saying "you" just as he filled me completely, the head of his erection brushing against that spot. My face heated up to probably match the color of my hair dye. "Tommy is extremely lucky to have you," he continued to mumble into my neck and upper chest.

"Oh stop it—" I started to say but a cry rolled off of my lips when Sauli grinded into me. Then he thrust, nothing like Tommy had earlier. This was slow, gentle and, if I wasn't mistaken, something very close to loving.

"Drake. I'm. Serious. Anyone would kill to have you," he retorted with another loving, gentle thrust. The way he was handling me was oddly familiar and I didn't understand how Sauli could feel so common to me. I tried to form some sort of protest, but I only got one word out before I completely lost my ability to form coherent sentences when Sauli pressed a hot, passionate kiss to my jaw. "Trust me, if I could keep you, I would… I'd have you paint me beautiful portraits and make slow, sweet love to you. Love you deserve." All the while, his lips were pressed to my jaw. "I know what it's like," he continued. "To be in the position you're in but you are lucky." His thrusts started to go a bit deeper, a bit harder but they were still slow. "You're still close to him."

Unable to hold back a cry of pleasure, I turned my face into the mattress, groaning. "What are you trying to do to me…?" I asked pathetically because I really just didn't understand Sauli's motives.

"I just want you to have the closure you're too afraid to let yourself have," he whispered, his lips molding to a spot right under my jaw, a spot that only Adam ever figured out that I liked. Honestly I didn't even know how much I liked to have that spot kissed, licked and bit because no one before Adam ever figured it out, so how the Hell did Sauli know? I was having sex with Sauli, right…?

"I don't understand how—" I started to reply but Sauli seemed to be skilled at getting me to shut up and my eyes fluttered shut. A moan fell from my lips but it wasn't a moan I'd heard from myself in over two years… At that moment, I heard nothing but my own breathing. Tommy and Adam weren't making any noise in the background and without opening my eyes, I was sure that they were both watching us.

Warm lips molded to the opposite side of my neck, in the same spot under my jaw and his thrusts were deep and powerful but they managed to keep a comforting, loving feeling to them, something I'd only experienced with Adam and suddenly I understood what he was trying to do. I didn't really know how Sauli learned this, perhaps Adam treated him a similar way in bed, but when I agreed to the foursome, I specifically said I wouldn't have sex with Adam. In truth, I said this because I was still afraid of falling in love all over again.

Sauli seemed to think that treating me like Adam had would help give me closure.

At least, I realized all of this later on. Caught in the moment of the heat, I couldn't think clearly and I found myself having a hard time remembering that I was having sex with Sauli and not Adam. After all, he was pulling cries from my lips that I hadn't made since I was with Adam.

"Sauli…" I heard Adam mumbled beside us with a deep moan but it was all moshed together by my senses. I was desperately trying to hold onto what was reality because I knew that Sauli was the one holding me close, caressing me and making sweet, hard love to me but it was so easy to imagine it was Adam. Beside us, I could hear Tommy and Adam mumbling to each other but I couldn't for the life of me understand what they were saying.

In one swift motion, Sauli managed to roll us over without pulling out of me and suddenly I was straddling his hips, sinking down onto his swollen cock. "F-fuck, Sauli…" I moaned, praying that I actually said the right name while his arms wrapped around my hips, holding me close and tight. I could feel how close he was but I was just a bit closer.

"Drake…" he groaned, his voice lower than I'd ever heard and all I could do was bite my lip as I fucked myself on him. Sauli's ability to make me sort of question what was real scared the shit out of me but how could I deny that I loved it? And how could I deny that I needed my release?

As we both approached an orgasm, Sauli lost a bit of his gentleness and it was easier to remember whom I was with. Now it was just about reaching an orgasm and I wasn't entirely sure I wanted to come yet. I'd tried holding my orgasm back so many times tonight, that I didn't really have a chance to keep myself from exploding and when Sauli slammed up into that spot, I saw stars. My hearing fuzzed out for a moment, I couldn't even hear myself scream as I came all over Sauli's stomach and chest.

Seconds later, I was filled for the second time in the last half hour and I collapsed over him, pressing my nose into his neck. I was exhausted and I barely even whined when Sauli carefully pulled out of me. He didn't push me off of him, he just wrapped his arms around me, stroking along my sweat and ink covered back.

"Oh come on, Adam, you've been waiting for your release for the last fucking hour!" Tommy hissed and I cracked my eyes open to see exactly what was happened. Adam was still chained to the headboard and Tommy had his knees pushed up towards his chest while he pounded into him.

"This is a fantasy I've had for years, don't end it so soon! Aahh!" Adam cried, arching beautifully.

"Really? Me inside of you?" Tommy retorted, pressing a kiss to his neck as he slammed into Adam's ass.

"Too much fan fiction… Those fucking fans of ours are so dirty! Gods if they only knew…"

"You really read that shit?" Tommy asked and I chuckled. I'd be honest, I'd read fan fiction once in a while, when there was a decent story that didn't turn me into a horrible person or an evil son of a bitch or something. There was one where Adam was a Pharaoh and Tommy and I were his pleasure servants…

"Sleep baby," Sauli whispered into my hair and I was already slipping under. I didn't really need and invitation, but I wanted to see Adam come at the mercy of Tommy's giant cock…

"Porn is predictable and boring. Fiction is… Edgy and different and some of them have some real talent," Adam replied, crying out again and again.

"Like what?" Tommy asked, smirking a little. He was enjoying teasing Adam and who could blame him? It was always a good time.

"Tommy… Shut up and fuck me!" Tommy grunted and slammed into Adam again and again and again until Adam was screaming like the bitch he really was. "T-Tommy!" he shouted, painting them both in his seed and that was the last thing I truly remember before I passed out, still lying on top of Sauli.

Sometime throughout the night, I rolled off of Sauli and wedged myself between the model and the singer. Adam was warmer, I supposed, so I curled up against him, using his shoulder as a pillow. Throughout our sex we managed to knock all the pillows and blankets to the floor and couldn't truly be bothered to retrieve them.

When I woke up, I was greeted with the sight of Adam's pale shoulder and chest adorned with those cute freckles that he hated but I'd always loved. At first I was startled because the night before was a giant blur and I was trying to sort it all out in my groggy mind. "The fuck…" I mumbled and Adam only snuggled closer. "Um… Adam?" I asked quietly as the previous nights events slowly started to come back to me. Tommy fucked me, I fucked Sauli, Sauli fucked me like Adam used to and Tommy fucked Adam. So how the Hell did I end up in Adam's arms? "Adam, wake up."

"Mm? What baby…?" he groaned, his arms tightening around my waist a little.

"Why are we cuddling?" I asked. Tommy and Sauli must have woken up already because we were the only two in the bed.

"Is that really a question?" he asked, pulling me closer still and I had to assume that he wasn't entirely aware of our position or whom he was holding.

"You do know who I am, right?"

"Drake LaBry, from New Orleans. We broke up and had a glorious foursome last night," he said as I started to attempt to roll away from him. "Now come back here—" he added, pulling me back against him. He wanted to cuddle, he was stronger than me, there really was no point in fighting him and he was warm, so I surrendered and put my head down on his chest. His fingers slowly worked through my hair, pushing what was left of my braid out into wavy strands.

"You okay? You looked a bit freaked last night when Sauli was fucking you," he said, still stroking my hair. I had to purr because I loved being pet…

"I'm fine, it was just—nothing, and I'm okay."

"Tell me, baby."

I sighed. "Fine. Out of all the people I've slept with—and there have been quite a few—the only person who ever handled me like that was you and it was great, it just freaked me out because I was having a hard time remember that I was with Sauli, not you. How did he know how to handle me like that?"

"Early on, when I first started dating Sauli—I would imagine he was you. So when we had sex, I would be gentle and loving like when we made love," he admitted, sounding kind of ashamed of himself and I bit back the comment I wanted to say about how he should have just apologized to me and told me that he still loved me. "Over time I grew to love him for him, but I didn't think he'd remember all of that, or make the connection that that was how I took care of you…"

"Ah… I just, last night I was having a hard time understand why he did it but now I think I understand. I told them when I agreed to the foursome, that I didn't want to actually fuck you. Sauli must have known I was afraid of being intimate with you. He said he wanted to give me closure because I was afraid to give it to myself," I explained, curling up against his side.

"Oh Sauli… Sounds like something he'd do, though. Jeez," Adam said, shrugging a little, which bobbed my head up and down. "You think we're going to be okay?"

"Yeah, I think we're gonna be fine."

Adam smiled and pressed a gentle kiss to my lips. At first, I pulled back, but when I saw the disappointed look that crossed his face, I leaned up and kissed him gently. We held it for a few moments, just relaxing in each other's hold, but eventually we broke the kiss and Adam asked if we should get up. "Probably but I already tried to get up and you wouldn't let me. Now I'm comfy and don't wanna…" Adam chuckled and continued to hold me, so I didn't bother getting up. "So… what was it like? To finally be dominated by something whose dick is clearly bigger than yours?"

"It was, um, it was a new experience." Always so humble, Adam, I couldn't help thinking as I smirked at him. "Hush up now."

"Nope."

"Jerk," he growled at me, kissed my neck gently just to get a ruse from me.

"I'm not a jerk," I said and he insisted that I was while nuzzling my neck, letting his breath fan across my marked skin. "You know," I started to say, purring all the while. "Sometimes the truth just hurts, pop star, doesn't make me a jerk. Now say I'm nice."

"You're… nice…"

"What's with the hesitation?"

A wicked smirk that the entire lot of us seemed to share crossed Adam's lips. "Cause you're not nice," he said in that low, sexy tone of his.

"I'm nicer than you," I insisted and he replied with a dark chuckle, pressing a rather forceful kiss to my lips. He caught me off guard, I'll admit and as he kissed me, he pushed me onto my back. I wasn't entirely sure what he was trying to do but it couldn't have been good so I tried to push away from him, but I was too late. He pulled my hands up to the headboard and locked my wrists in the position his hand been in the night before. Then I saw how chaffed his wrists really were. "What the fuck!" I shouted in his smirking face and a moment later, Sauli and Tommy were in the room with wide eyes, wondering what was wrong.

"Now you'll know how you tortured me last night…" he said with a smirk and soon Sauli and Tommy were smirking along with him, the bastards… I settled for growling at them because I couldn't exactly move. "Oh stop it."

"Fuck you, Lambert."

"Now, now love…" Tommy muttered, pressing a kiss to my forehead. "Really baby, just have fun." He kissed my neck, smirking into my skin.

"So what, exactly is the plan, boys?" Sauli asked, raising an eyebrow in my direction. "While he's in this state?" Obviously I was not getting out of this and I was in for one Hell of a morning. As if my ass aching from Tommy and Sauli last night wasn't enough.

"We tease him and leave him like we left Adam," Tommy replied.

"Tommy, you're supposed to be on my side!" I shouted at him.

Tommy smirked. "I am, why do you think I'm suggesting we fondle you first?"

Just then, Adam came up to me. "Oh allow me, lovelies."


End file.
